


Do Not Drink And Drive (Thru)

by Seulrene_4_Life



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Funny, Seulrene, Short, redvelvet, seulreneau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29818707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seulrene_4_Life/pseuds/Seulrene_4_Life
Summary: “Yes, I would like to order like.... a dozen of McNuggets...”Drunken giggle.”.... and some uh... Maybe I’ll have a Sundae too... and don't tell me that the machine broke!”A hiccup.”Will that be all, Ma’am?””Oh, oh! I'll also have me a Kang Seulgi!”A what now?
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi
Kudos: 26





	Do Not Drink And Drive (Thru)

"Now where are those demons..." trailed off a grumbling Bae Joohyun to herself as she sipped from the glass filled with cola, the sweetly and acidic liquid making its way down her throat.

The booming beat of the music from this party only added to her increasing headache - and heartache. 

Yeri and Joy AKA the demon children managed to drag the studying senior from her desk, and then dressed her to their liking.

The occurence two hours ago was beyond ridiculous.

• • • 

"Let me go, damn it!" yelled an angry Irene as she gripped the edges of her desk, as Joy was right behind her, arms around her waist and pulling the former from it.

Yeri was in the background, rummaging her closet for good outfits, completely ignorant of the screaming going around.

"Stop struggling you difficult woman!" Joy screamed back, and then stretched her body a bit to reach the white knuckles of Irene and then began to mercilessly whack them with her bigger hands, effectively making the hurt senior let go.

Since Joy's body is completely dependent on Irene's, gravity made itself known as they went down on the floor with a huge thud, Irene's elbow going down on her stomach.

"Hey, this is not WWE you sadist!" Joy hollered and then quickly scrambled to stand up and pulled the chair beside the table.

In a matter of seconds, Irene was on the said chair, tied up and her mouth covered with a duct tape.

Stripped to her underwear.

Joy and Yeri were having a silent discussion in front of her, ignoring the wildly thrashing woman who was also spitting out profanities, although they were muffled.

"So first, I know you act like a grandma, but I didn't think your underwear of choice is of someone who is in their 60's." Yeri said contemplatingly as Joohyun let out a muffled gasp in offense.

Her panties are not granny panties thank you very much!

Yes they are plain, but they provided enough comfort.

A bag suddenly materialized beside Joy and then giggled with Yeri, eyes reflecting the diabolism in them.

She unzipped the bag and pulled out a pair of lingerie as an example to showcase.

"So this is what you will wear, and you have more here." she winked.

Then Yeri added, "Your granny closet needs to be cleansed too, seriously you dress up like a hobo."

Irene almost died then and there when she saw Yeri dump the contents of her underwear closet into a plastic bag for disposal.

Oh, guess whose knee caps she will be busting right after this?

Joy replaced them with the racy underwear - if you can even call those pieces of strings underwear - and then pulled out a dress from the bag.

"You will be wearing this."

Irene's gotta admit, the dress looked short but sexy

But hell nah, she is still not going to this party.

"I know what you're thinking in that big brain of yours, I can tell." Yeri pointed out and then finally ripped the duct tape away from her lips carefully.

Irene outright snapped forward and bit her hand savagely to which Yeri let out a piercing scream, before she let it go in a second.

"Yah! That hurt like a bitch!" the junior exclaimed, waving and blowing on her injured hand.

The satisfactory smirk on her lips made Joy chuckle.

"Alright, let's get you pretty." she announced with a clap.

"Who says I want to go?"

"Who says I am asking for your permission?"

Joy: 1

Irene: 0

"You owe me one, bulldog." Yeri said and then went to get the make up.

"By the way..." Joy said casually as they began dolling the reluctant senior up, "Your crush was invited too, and I heard her take the offer."

"Kang Seulgi is not my crush!"

"Unnie, I did not even say a name yet."

Joy: 2

Irene: -999

Yeri was yet again on the background. Well, more like on the literal ground as she rolled on her back, clutching her stomach in a painful and breathless laughter.

Did she just accidentally give herself away?

Damn right you did, ma'am.

"There, all done! Now let's begin with the hardest part." 

Yeri chose a pair of white, lacy lingerie.

Joy clapped in pride, admiring her artwork.

Irene plotted her assassination.

The dress fitted her nicely, she felt a bit petrified at the question of how Joy knew her body measurements.

But then again, that's Park Sooyoung we are talking about who can judge the size of somebody's dick from the way they walk.

• • • 

Joohyun might have agreed with them a teeny, tiny bit - she swears, just really teeny tiny - partly because she wanted to see Seulgi dressed up.

Don't get her wrong, she loves - maybe a little too much for a normal level - seeing the president of their university's dance club's fashion taste. The younger girl opted for mostly baggy clothing but there are times when she wears crop tops and leggings for her dance practice, exposing toned and tanned (delicious) washboard abs.

Seriously, she can't count how many times Joy closed her mouth because of her jaw dropping unconsciously

However, her sole purpose and only motivation to come with the she-devils led her to disappointment upon not seeing any sign of the dancer. 

Unable to hide her frown, she went for the kitchen to grab at least a bottle of water, not in the mood to get smashed. There, she saw Yeri who was speaking to some boy who looks familiar. 

“Oh, you’re here! Alone and Seulgi-less.” she said cheerfully at first then deadpanned.

”Yah! Stop talking about her!" she hissed as she made her way towards the fridge as Yeri chuckled at jer defensive outburst.

"Hey you two!" Joy also appeared in the kitchen, "Where's Seulgi-unnie?"

Seriously these two act like they're the ones who have a big crush on the dancer.

"Why'd you leave me alone!?" Irene growled, "I'm going home, I need to study for my upcoming exam in History class." 

"Liar, that won't be until next week." Joy said with a shit eating grin.

"How did you know?"

"Seungwan told me."

"Son Wendy? Since when did you became close that you are now on a first name basis?" Yeri asked, a brow raised as she sipped from her red cup.

"Hm, in Art class." Joy shrugged, and then pulled Irene to rest an arm around her shoulders.

The latter was growing mad now.

She needs to find an excuse to escape them somehow.

"Um... I have an.. uh... an assignment due tomorrow?"

"Unnie, today's friday."

Goddamn it Park Sooyoung!

Chuckling to herself, Yeri pulled the older woman and gave her a red cup. Irene eyed the concoction with obvious suspicion to which made the younger roll her eyes.

"That's just a non-alcoholic cocktail unnie. You can go home if you want, just promise me you'll finish that."

She gave her the stink eye for a moment before taking an experimental sip, and was a bit happy to not feel the usual burn of the alcohol when drinking some. The drink was delicious too.

Taking another big gulp, she nodded to the two, "Well, I guess I'll see you on Monday then." she bid them good bye, happy that she can finally go home and snuggle her huge bunny plushie waiting on her bed, the red cup still in her grasp.

Joy looked at her retreating figure with mild apprehension and then turned it towards a grinning History major who let their unnie go easily.

"Spill."

"Spill what?"

"Judging by that stupid face, I can tell there's something going on."

"Fine, you got me. That drink I gave her? It's spiked."

In two seconds, Joy's grin was already mirroring Yeri's.

"She'll have the best night of her college life. I can't wait for her to come knocking on our doors and thank us."

• • •

Kang Seulgi fixed the tissues again, although they were untouched for the past hour.

Today's a slow and not a good day for her.

First, she was late for class. Waking up two minutes earlier than her alarm, she turned it off to rest her eyes for the remaining said minutes and then woke up an hour later.

Just how the fuck do you sleep for what feels like five minutes and then wake up eternities later!?

Second, she not so gracefully tripped and face planted from distraction when she saw Bae Irene, her long time crush who made a visit to their practice room to talk to her fellow dancer, Kai.

She was jealous, so she resorted to childishly make Kai repeat the routines even though he already perfected them. Many of the members of the dance club became skeptical at their president's unusual attitude but shrugged nonetheless.

Perhaps it's Kai's fault, they think, that guy has an inborn talent of annoying anybody even with only the way he breathes.

Third, she accepted Byulie's invitation for her house party but was not able to make it because one of her co workers was down with the flu and they were severely understaffed, leaving her no choice but to take over the drive-thru area.

She thought about Byulie, who was probably drunk off of her wits right now, making out with Yongsun or something.

It's a good thing today's a slow day. Then, she saw a white Kia drive towards the drive thru, the monolid eyed woman mustered all the cheeriness in her voice.

"Welcome to McDonald's! Are you ready to order?"

She heard the unmistaken drunken giggle. 

Oh, another inebrated customer in McDonald's drive-thru at 12 AM. It's typically common, unfortunately. She hated handling these kind of customers but she has to make do, money is tight for a broke college student like her.

"Yes, I would like to order like... a dozen of McNuggets..."

Drunken giggle.

She rolled her eyes but punched in her order anyway.

"... and some uh... Maybe I'll have a Sundae too... and don't tell me the machine broke!

Excuse her!? It's not her fault those goddamn machines are broken every single day!

A hiccup. 

"Will that be all, Ma'am?"

"Oh, oh! I'll also have me a Kang Seulgi!"

A what now?

Is this some kind of a joke? Her friends consisted of habitual pranksters, so it's not new to her.

"Sorry?"

"Didn't you hear me dummy? I said, I'd like to order a Kang Seulgi to take home!" 

Seulgi was confused now.

"Haha, funny joke guys. You can leave me and my work alone now." Her eyes rolled in mild annoyance.

"Joking? How dare you tell me that I'm joking! My love is true for my dear Kang Seulgi!"

She choked practically on nothing. 

"I mean, have you seen her!? She's effing hot!" 

"Oh my god." She covered her blushing face at the drunken customer's statement.

Jisoo, one of Seulgi's co-workers and friends walked by to check on her, "Is everything okay, Seulgi-yah? The customer is taking too long, are they ordering for a feast?"

Seulgi silently motioned for her to keep quiet.

"God? More like goddess! Yes, she's the goddess of dancing and singing!" 

This time, Jisoo heard through the speaker and eyed it with piqued interest.

"Ignore her Chichu, you can go back to the counter. Just the usual tipsy customer that's all." she whispered, "Not to sound rude ma'am, but I take it you're done with your order? So you'll have a dozen McNuggets and a Sundae?"

"Yes, I'm done ordering but let me finish you rude girl!"

Hey! She's not the rude one here!

"Do you even know who Kang Seulgi is!? Of course you might, she 's popular especially with the girls!"

Jisoo pinched her side playfully, "She's got a point, player." She said in a low voice.

"Hey! I have been single as a pringle since I was born!" The dancer defended.

"Yes I do. In fact, I see her every single day."

"Where?"

"In the mirror."

"Huh?" Seulgi was glad the customer is too drunk to put two and two together, "But anyway, I'm so glad she rejects everyone who wants to date her."

A look of "See?!" was shot towards Jisoo's direction.

"It's 'cause of Bae Irene, madam." Jisoo said, but made sure that the drunk customer did not hear it for the sake of her friend.

The teased woman glared at her.

"I liked her for two years now. This is probably stupid, but I've been playing games with her. Do you know Final Fantasy XIV? I go by the username Baechu329 but-" the drunk woman raised a finger to her lips, her brain too drunk to process that the employee cannot see her, "-this is a secret only okay? I've been teaming up with her and I always refused to have an open mic because I might give myself away."

Wait, so this customer is the Baechu329? The best player out there who she always teamed up with!? They are the legendary unbeatable duo! And judging from what the woman is saying, she seems like she goes to the same uni as Seulgi does.

Seulgi anticipated her arrival. Her night took a really unexpected turn.

"Also, I hate Jisoo! I'm jealous of her because she gets to be always with you and touch you!"

Jisoo shook her head in amusement.

"Ooooh, another jealous admirer Seulgi-yah. But I guess she will be rejected anyway because guess what? It's Irene who you only like. Is she even into girls?" 

"Yah, spare me now, Chu."

She can't handle getting her heart broken especially since the girl would always interact with mostly the opposite gender (ehemKaiehem).

"And did I mention dancing? I seemed to have, but I'll still tell you anyway, have you seen her dance?! She. Is. So. Fucking. Hot! I needed to take really really really freezing cold showers after watching her!"

Seulgi's face is flaming now, stupefied at the suggestive confession.

"And her abs! God damn it don't even get me started! They are so fucking delicious looking I want to run my tongue on them all day long!"

Jisoo is now on the floor, tearing up from the pain in her stomach caused by her uncontrollable laughter.

Nobody has ever confessed to Seulgi this way, nobody! And it was hilarious!

"Excuse me-"

"Let me finish!"

The stern hiss immediately shut the embarrassed girl up.

"Do you know that I hate her right now!? I even dressed up in a pair of lingerie - well, my friends forced me to - but that's not the point! My point is, I needed her to see me in my white lace glory, and the dumb bear did not even show up!"

It's not her fault she cannot go! The party seemed fun too! 

"Shit." Seulgi gasped out at the very racy sentence.

Jisoo, who was now on her feet, shot Seulgi a wriggle of her eyebrows.

"You were about to get some after all, it's just our manager is a huge cockblock." She cackled, to which she earned a smack from the older girl.

"I even always talk to my cousin Kai every time they practice because I wouldn't miss the chance to see her in all her sweaty glory!"

She was now back to square one into putting the puzle pieces up, as she quitely noted that many girls go to see Kai during their practice.

That playboy.

"Just ask her who she is, dummy." Jisoo nudged Seulgi's shoulder with her own.

"By any chance, may I know your name too ma'am?" 

"Why, so that you will snitch on me and even tell my future wife?!"

Future what now?

"No, I'm just curious that's all. Your secret's safe with me." It took all her strength to lie between her teeth because it is not Kang Seulgi's forté.

"Bae Irene, the one and only!"

Holy fuck.

"Holy fuck!" Jisoo exclaimed, to which Seulgi looked at her that says same thoughts girl, same thoughts.

"Bae Irene! Your long time crush and your number one partner in games are one! God, this is like some cheesy romcom!" Jisoo said.

Irene is Baechu329? Irene is the girl who is confessing to her (shitfaced) in the drive-thru? Irene is cousins with Kai? Irene likes her? Irene wants to lick her abs? Irene is gay? 

But most importantly:

So Irene is wearing white lacy lingerie!?

Seulgi.exe stopped responding.

Holy fuck (2).

Holy fuck (3).

Holy fuck for the fourth time.

Holy fuckity fuck!

"And her voice is so dreamy and heartfelt. But you know wha-"

A loud honking behind Irene cut the woman off.

"Hey! There are other customers here!"

"I'm sorry, but you have to proceed ma'am, you may now take your order." It was Jisoo who said this and shuffled to prepare her order before handing them to Seulgi in lightning speed then ushering her to the window.

• • •

The grumbling drunk mumbled to herself as she slowly drove to the window where she can take her food and her future wife home.

She felt happy at the fact that she got her Sundae and McNuggets and then beamed at the blushing Seulgi.

"Oh good, my order is fulfilled. Come here honey, we're going home." she drunkenly drawled at the gaping Seulgi.

"What, something wrong?" she asked when the dancer is still unresponsive.

"Hey!" she snapped her fingers, effectively breaking Seulgi out of her thinking bubble before the dancer cleared her throat and handed her an extra tissue with eleven digits written on it, followed by her name just in case the woman forgets about what she did.

"Save the rest of your weird confession for tomorrow." Seulgi winked.

"Hey, I ordered for a Kang Seulgi! There's no way you're not coming home with me!"

"Just go home and sleep, I'll take you out on a date tomorrow."

"Fine." she pouted which Seulgi found cute and then bit on a single nugget.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Seulgi said and for good measure, added, "Honey."

The ear to ear smile she received from the drunk woman was so adorable, then she waved a hand before driving away.

With the combination of bad sense of direction and alcohol, she had to reroute four times before she was able to go home.

Seulgi thought this was not a bad day after all.


End file.
